Shape MagazineSusan Bixler was featured in an article about appearing confident in the October 2001 issue of Shape Magazine


Shape MagazineUp Your Confidence Quotient -

Nine Ways to Appear ConfidentBy Caroline Burke, Shape Magazine


When Tricia Jansen, co-owner of a computer consulting company had an opportunity to land a big new client, nervousness set in. To prepare, she researched the people she'd be meeting and repeatedly rehearsed what she'd say. Her preparation paid off: She exuded ease and confidence during the meeting, and her company got the client.

Jansen's on to something, says Susan Bixler, a corporate image consultant in Atlanta and co-author of 5 Steps to Professional Presence (Adams Media Corp., 2000). "Acting more secure breeds confidence," Bixler says. "Their confidence signals that they can take on anything and succeed." To boost your own confidence quotient:

  1. Practice. Before making a presentation or asking for a raise, rehearse aloud, in front of a mirror, or have someone videotape you. "Practicing will dramatically increase your confidence," says Bixler. Keep track of how much you're smiling: Regularly flashing a grin will make you look comfortable and friendly.
  2. Watch your tone. The less confident tent to end many statements as if they were questions. That's dangerous because it signals that you're unsure of the validity of your thoughts. "It's a common feminine speech pattern that hasn't worked to our benefit," Bixler says. "It's best to make a statement unless, of course, you're actually asking a question." Conveying the appropriate tone in your e-mail is important too: Research from Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee has found that employees in positions of power are likely to send concise messages, partly to show that they're comfortable with their authority, while those in lower positions tend to send wordy e-mail.
  3. Quit apologizing. "Good manners never work against us, but if you're constantly apologizing, it diminishes what others think of you," Bixler says. So rather than appear in your boss's doorway with a meek "sorry to bug you," simply ask, "Do you have 10 minutes?"
  4. Know your stuff. Brooke Williamson, 23-year-old executive chef at Zax Restaurant in Los Angeles, oversees a staff of 15 people. Williamson's confident because she has the respect of her employees. "I show my staff that I know what's going on in the kitchen at all times. I keep my skills up, work the stations and stay very hands-on," she says.
  5. Don't advertise your fears. If your boss gives you a project that seems daunting, resist sharing your self-doubts. "The first impression we give someone about an assignment can color her perspective," Bixler says.
  6. Work out. Maureen Kelly, 29, founder of Tarte cosmetics, gets a boost from working out. "If I'm not exercising, I don't feel good about myself overall," she says. Begin a challenging day on confident footing with a morning workout.
  7. Ask smart questions. Before a job interview or important meeting, do some research. Intelligent questions will mask your nervousness, Bixler says.
  8. Dress the part. Kelly often meets with ultra-fashion-conscious magazine editors. "Those meetings can be nerve-racking, so I like to be confident in my appearance," she says. I always try to wear one fabulous piece, like a cute top or a great pair of shoes.
  9. Do a detail check. Keep a small mirror handy to check your reflection before meetings. When you feel pulled together, confidence comes naturally.