Online With The Professional Image
A bi-monthly newsletter on building professional presence

How Do You Influence?

Who has influenced your life? Was it a teacher, parent, child, guidance counselor, colleague, boss, coach, athlete / celebrity, friend, neighbor? What kind of influence was it? Was it positive influence, that without his or her presence, guidance or action, you would not be where you are now? Was it a negative influence, that because of some action or statement, you felt defeated, inadequate, deflated and resolved not to do that to anyone else?

Phillip McGraw, author of Self Matters, indicates that "You have encountered hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people in your life who have had an impact, yet research has shown that there are as few as five truly pivotal people who have left indelible impressions on your concept of self and, therefore, the life you live."

Consider all of the ways in which you have to influence. It's certainly through the big actions. It may have been a colleague who lost his or her job and you opened a door by making an introduction to a company with employment potential. Maybe you mentored a high potential individual and gladly committed the necessary time. Perhaps you volunteered to serve on the board of a struggling company because you knew you had the skills and connections to make it profitable. You may have delivered a speech to a business group. Your message was so powerful that you inspired several of the attendees to step out of their comfort zone and take action instead of just thinking that what you said was a good idea.

Most often, though, it is the little things, even the unintentional things we do that have the most significant influence on another's life. You are up against a deadline for a project of your own and a colleague asks for your help on a presentation. You drop what you are doing and willingly offer your insight. You sponsor a lunch for a new manager so she has the opportunity to get acclimated into the company. You devote a weekend to Habitat for Humanity, time to Easter Seals or another worthy cause because you believe it's important to give back. You notice someone in your office parking lot having car trouble and you stop to help, even though you are tired and ready to go home.

Every action and interaction is an opportunity for you to leave what Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations, describes as a negative or positive wake in your path. Ms. Scott states, "There are no trivial comments. It all has an impact."

In Executive EQ: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Organizations, Robert Cooper, PH.D. states that "Many leaders and managers do not fully realize how closely they are observed, even from afar, and how the smallest details of their speech, gestures, and daily behaviors are noted, sensed, interpreted and remembered by virtually everyone who comes in contact with them."

So what kind of influence and effect do you have? What influence do you want? What can you do differently, every day, with the knowledge that your action and interaction counts?